Everything was fantastic from first fight in relationship the first date on, but eventually things started to slip, maybe the two of you have been talking about breaking up, maybe she’s planning to dump you, maybe you’re trying to decide whether to try and save the relationship or to dump her, and maybe she’s cheating on you. That cycle of fighting and make-up sex will wear you down in the long run. Here are red-flags that will tell you if your relationship is doomed.
The first place to look is how you spend your time together. What does it consist of? For example, do you find yourself avoiding spending time with her because you know a fight will break out? Does she seem to get upset about anything just for the sake of arguing, does having her around you for too long stress you out? Those constant fights between the two of you are happening because the two of you aren’t a good match. If your time together feels like a war, it can be a huge sign that its time to retreat. More importantly, what are you not doing together? For example, does the concept of sex with her not sound appealing any more? Are the two of you are neither inclined nor able to become aroused by each other. Maybe you’re feeling bad because you’re thinking you’d rather be sleeping with someone else, but that’s a sure sign that the problem isn’t you, it’s your relationship. To be sure, some couples will keep having sex despite losing attraction for each other, but it’s obligatory sex. It’s passionless. We cannot help kissing when we are feeling passionate, it’s a natural response to a heightened state of love. When it is not there, one should take note
Another key sign to look for is if there is a feeling of resentfulness or distance. This can take a few forms. One common one is the lack of connection. Put differently, even when the two of you are right next to each other, it seems like you’ve grown apart. You don’t have the same connection or interest in each other that you used to. Instead, when you think about her, you aren’t getting a bright smile that lights up your face, but a dead pit in your stomach. The thoughts you have when you think about her aren’t happy memories, but angry fights and relationship issues. If the very thought of her has the power to stress you out, that’s a big red flag waving in your face. This resentfulness often expands to her friends as well. For instance, are her friends rude, condescending, or seem to always be laughing at you? They’re opinion of you is based on what your girlfriend has been telling them about you. Negative emotions from them are a covert way of observing negative emotions from her. This of course does not include her guy friend that’s in love with her or her lesbian friend that has the hots for her, those two will hate you no matter what. That said, sometimes your feelings of resentment are rooted in a reasonable suspicion. For example, has she been coming home late, or staying out all night saying she spent the night at a girlfriends? Is she taking phone calls in private? Did she suddenly get happier without telling you anything has changed in her life? Does she seem to have a lot less free time and is suddenly spending lots of time at the gym? Is she alw